Now That Wasn't Sooo Bad, Was It? yeah, yeah. . . well, so it didn't smell so good (mumble,
mumble, under my breath, "they are always compainin' about the smell.
Ha! and them wantin' ta be cowpokes!
Uh, well, ok. Now here's tha deal, my little sis, is gonna take over
from here. I gotta lotta work ta do. Critters ta punch, fence ta mend
an ol mustang to break. A cowboys work ain't never done.
So, I'll see all you buckaroos later. Sis, ya all take care of these here folks now.
Ok. What we're gonna do first is give you some advice on how to live.
This works for Cowpokes and every day folks.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be
surprised if they learn their lesson.
Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.
Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have
it thrown around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it
back.
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so
important to know what it is, but it's critical to know
what it was.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it
back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up
And Folks, thats just what I'm going to do. But, I'll be back with
more Cowboy Humor soon.
Humor from Jakes, one-liners and assorted amusement from
HCG
